Barriers

My mom went to Sabah last friday to pick up my maternal grandmother. PoPo (what we usually refer to her as), over the last few years, has been suffering from a few afflictions due to increasing age, and had to undergo several surgeries. Recently, she started to have nose bleeds after the latest surgery in KL. PoPo just arrived at our house today, and now I remember just why it was so awkward to have her over.

My grandma has a rather extensive and interesting history. From stories my mom tells me, i managed to patch some parts together. My grandma had two marriages. The first marriage was to a kungfu master who eventually left to return to Hong Kong, leaving her behind due to her reluctance to leave her homeland. Her second marriage was to a goldsmith as a second wife. As a second wife, there were less privileges afforded to her. No luxuries, no extra stuff. Add to that the 12 children that she had (no birth control those days), and you have a rather hard situation. It wasn't to say that the other wife didn't have children. No she did. Up til now, I still don't fully understand how they managed to survive. But anyway, now due to those 12 children, I have a plethora of cousins, ranging from the age of 40 to 2 years old. Nevertheless, all the hardships that she has been through has left a mark on her. She is not insane, crazy, mad or even delusional by any definition of the word. She worries overly much. She's scared of being alone. And now she's at my home, where my dad works the whole day, my mom works part time in a kindergarden, my sibling and I attend school and university respectively. So now i'm worrying. Add to the fact that none of my siblings and I can communicate effectively with her?

PoPo, growing up in Sabah, can speak Holkien, Haka, some (I say this very generally) cantonese, malay, mandarin and very very little english. My siblings and I were born in Singapore while my dad was working there. Both of our parents were English educated and speak different dialects. Growing up speaking English and later forcibly sent to a Chinese primary school after returning to Malaysia, none of us really managed to learn different dialects aside from the basics. The last time that PoPo stayed with us, she constantly questioned us on our mother's whereabouts whenever she was out, which was a lot. And we couldn't really answer.

So i'm worried. Really really worried.

Of all things to do..

Of all stupid things to do, i believe i've just topped my list. For one, getting up early, doing nothing for pretty much the whole day, going clubbing, later mamak, going home to change and shower, and going for a 6 km walkathon the every next day sure counts. With zero sleep, half running, jogging and walking the whole way, i'm half surprised i didn't KO. yeap. Doing all that on sleep deprivation. On a side note, i've somehow been elected to a commitee in a club i haven't been to in at least half a year? Yip pee do dah. =)

Sigh, of all days i'm supposed to be happy, and i was. But right now? I'm depressed. And i have no idea why. Wonderful.

3 day summary

Friday

• YEP Practice
• Movie
• Bowling
• Archery
• YumCha

Went out with "the bonding group" right after practice. Arrived in Pyramid late, thanks to Brandon :P and lack of parking. After numerous debates and attempts to make each other decide to choose what to eat, we ended up eating sushi in Sakae Sushi. One thing led to another, and we soon found ourselves going to bowling and archery right after the movie. And of course no day is complete without a Yum Cha sessioN!

Saturday

• Tiara's open house
• Satay
  
• clubbing

Tiara's place in Kajang was the perfect excuse to eat more. 'Specially satay. Anything else after that was utterly random. Yup, clubbing in BarCelona was just random.

Sunday

• B-day celebration lunch

Late again. This time with a record of 2 hours+. The old school group was supposed to meet up Ara Damansara, and of course Shin Le and I had no idea how to get there, getting completely lost. I can understand how Cheryl feels now. I need a GPS =P The rest of the day after that was spent doing really really last minute assignments.

Yeap, 3 long days. 3 long and very tiring days. 3 long and very tiring but fun days. So thanks guys :P

Ideas and executions

The past week, being the Raya holidays, I thought that I felt like going running. So I planned to wake up at around 7 or 8 to go. Alas, sometimes my half-asleep self makes more sense than my conscious thinking. Waking before the alarm each time, I managed to persuade myself that jogging when i'm sleepy is self-defeating. Needless to say, I was talked out of it by myself, switched the alarm off, waking up a few hours later. So how now? I decided that since I couldn't wake up in the mornings, I would go during the evening. The strategy has been foiled by none other than my beloved laptop which I just can't seem to let go off. Sigh. On another note, this morning's failure I blame on Brandon. That orang called me at 11.50 p.m., almost midnight, and preceded to talk for almost 2 hours. Not my fault that I couldn't wake up after that! It's okay Brandon, I still consider you one of my best GIRL chat buddies =P

So, new strategies. Hmm, there's this one where I place my phone cum alarm clock somewhere out of reach for someone half awake. But knowing myself, that's probably not going to deter my sleep-deprived self. But what will? I've no idea.

I should just admit defeat.

Ps: Who wants to go eat dim sum?

5 p.m.

It's 5 p.m. on a wednesday evening. I've pretty much spent the day doing nothing, despite my impending assignments still waiting undone. It wasn't until a couple of minutes ago that I realized that today is October 1. OCTOBER 1! Time just passed so damn fast! In another 3 days would be Pick Yee's b-day. In another 5 days two assignments are due. In another 6 days is my cousin's b-day. In another 7 is mine. In just a wink, almost the whole year has passed. Really, the feeling like i've been wasting my time is plaguing me. What have I been doing? What should I be doing? Why am I here? Why should I be here? And you know what? It just doesn't make any sense. The isolation, detachment.. It's almost like I don't care. Should I care? And now i'm just not making sense. Exams are coming up soon, and I have to buck up. I should. But I don't really want to. Nor do I really care. The disinterest, the indifference.
Really.. What do I want? I don't know.

PS: Random thought.. I want chocolate :P

Farewell/Reunion

With Heng Ji leaving to UK soon to further his studies in Cambridge (for chemical engineering), some of us got reserved yesterday for dinner at Friday's. The showup mostly consisted of ex-5 Angsana and BungaRaya students, with a few odd-balls like me, Sherri, Jia Ping. Taking advantage of the fact that Justin's a neighbour, I tumpang-ed his car, saving my petrol and the general hassle of finding parking =P Now, you would think that people would be early for this sort of events, or at least on time, but the majority of the attendances, being typical Malaysians, arrived at least half an hour late. Some of the other not so typical Malaysians, like yours truly (hahaha.. being fetched means you're not allowed to be late, or if you are, the blame can be shifted to the true culprit, even if u did make him wait =P), ended up waiting, bored out of their skulls, passing time in various ways. You know how many people say that maturity comes with time? This has been officially disproved. Another common saying, 'boys never grow up', on the other hand, is completely true. The guys were being guys, high school guys to be more accurate. Just ask anyone. Some would think that 2 years would change people. They didn't change a bit. Yeap. Uhhuh. It was kinda strange watching them, never really being close with any of them at that time, being invited due to knowing Heng Ji AFTER the high school period. Really, for some high school was the pinnacle of their lives. I wouldn't say it was my worst time, not even close really, but it definitely wasn't spectacular either. It's weird how you can know people for 5 years, but never really get to know them. But get pulled out of your comfort zone, dropped in a place where most people don't know each other, and you can get along swimmingly fine, even making better friends than ever before. Ah, the old times, I really do sound old heh?
So why go in the first place? I don't know either. Still don't really. Maybe I was bored, curious how old acquaintances were doing. Fact is, I went, don't regret it, enjoyed myself, and had plenty to write about. So much so, that i've just completely lost whatever trail of thought I was following in the first place. Oh well, thinking is overrated.

Practice, assignments, practice..

Just like the title says.. Practice, assignments, practice.. The beginning of my holidays is marked with just that! What with the MPAC's year end production coming up in two weeks and another two assignments due at the exact end of the hols..

Just a few days ago, us the cast members have been accosted to the costume shop for fittings. There were really a lot of different costumes, cute, irritating, halloween right up to downright ridiculous! Thankfully most of us avoided those, deciding on okay costumes. Wait till they see Kaamesh! :P